and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
