I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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