So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
