Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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