Whod you bang
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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