we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
