My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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