i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
