she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
