So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
