And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
the liver wants what the liver wants
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
