I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
