He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You made out with two different species that night
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
