I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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