if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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