I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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