I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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