For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just googled if crying burns calories
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
