I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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