You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
tell me about the eggs
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