We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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