Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
handjob tips. give me some.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
