im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
