UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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