Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
