I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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