just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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