I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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