a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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