When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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