i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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