I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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