I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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