They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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