just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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