Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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