Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
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my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I didn't notice because vodka
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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