Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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