In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize