oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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