But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
