the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
