do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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