just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
