i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
