are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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