I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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