U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
