____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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