FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I didn't notice because vodka
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
