So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
what day is it and did you see me today?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
COCAINE IS GR8
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize