YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
