My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
