woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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