We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
