garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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