I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
