I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
