Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
