remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Randomize
