Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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