I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
